A Surfer Geat Drama

by Arden Smith and Carl Hostetter

Yo! We Lifeguar-danes
have tubular tales
of Shield Surfing
gnawing and gnashing--
Blondes in bikinis,
voluptuous vixens,
but fun and frolic
of the Lifeguar-danes,
For the beach-stepper,
Grendel the gruesome,
dwells under water,
breaking their boards --
Then the Lifeguar-danes
bound down the beach,
Then through the throng
Hasselhoff hastens,
handsomish hero
to grappel with Grendel;
For the rest of this tale,
for the broadcast premiere;
in Los Angeles
to tell you dudes
in shark-filled waters.
that was a gnarly surf-dude.
bosoms heaving,
vollyball playing;
fills not all days
littoral wardens.
baneful foe,
gross-looking dude,
wiping out surfers,
like, bummer, dude!
leap from their stations,
bouncing and jiggling.
of thongs and Speedos,
the harbor's watchman,
(if hairy and doughy),
grass is his ass.
turn in this fall
'tis Beowatch called.

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